Well, I guess seeing how I already brought it up I should tell you a little about my house.  It is a 92 year old house, which means it was built the same year the light switch was invented. Of course many other things happened in 1916, I will leave that for you to look up.  I think I took off about three or four layers of wall paper in each room.  I took up all pet urine soaked carpet, put down new white oak hard wood floors in most of the room, and carpet in the two bedrooms.  I can’t wait for it to be done.  Painting will be done this week I hope, once we fix the two colors that didn’t come out right, (right now I have two rooms that glow).  I get carpet on tuesday, then I move in.  I am so excited and yet nervous.  Those of you that know me, know I can sometime scare myself when I am alone and for the most part I don’t really like being alone, but for the first time, I am looking forward to it.  I will try to remember to put some photos up later for you all once it is all done.

Now that I have that out of the way on to more exciting things.  Wait, I don’t have anything any more exciting then that.  I guess for now that is it.  I will try to post more later, and more frequently then I have been, well now that I remember my password it will make it a lot easier.

Later

Later

I recently got a part-time job with a local bridal shop that just opened up here.  I haven’t started yet, but I can’t wait.  They carry excusilve lines, and desinger dresses.  They also have the option of custom order dresses, they are beautiful.  I can’t wait to start.  It isn’t wedding planning, but at least it is in the bridal industry.

Ok, so I think that will do for now, because I think I am going to be sick so I am going to go lay on the bathroom floor now.

Later

Well here is something from philosophy class, the way to early class.  This is from the class in which we discussed the fact that Socrates said he was ignorant, because he knew nothing, for he could not prove anything, he only had ideas, thoughts, and opinions. Well here is what I have to say on the matter.

I only have opinions and know nothing.  Man I feel stupid.  And to make it worst I can not be taught knowledge, only others opinions.  For knowledge is enduring and what I think I know is always changing, proving that I know nothing, but by proving I know nothing and the fact that I have never known anything and suppose I never will, does that prove I have knowledge of never knowing anything, which would disprove it’s self or that it is my opinion I will never know anything.

Ok, it might sound stupid but it was way too early in the morning and I hadn’t had any coffee.

My second little thing is from my serve safe class and has nothing to do with the class.  Of course I had just gotten done reading/listening to a Nicholas Sparks book, “Dear John” and after reflecting on real life experience.

What is worst?  To lose one you love slowly over time watching them go piece by piece seeing the pain, suffering and fear in their eyes and on their face or to lose them fast and sudden, to be unprepared, not have the chance to say “goodbye.”  Which is worst?  I have been through both and can not tell you.  I do not wish either on anyone though.  To hold hope of improvement or to wish you could have said goodbye.  Of course there is no greater feeling to have one you love come back from the edge of death to live a long life, even if it has its struggles and problems.  The joy and appreciation that comes from that is amazing.  I just wish I could say I have felt that more then lose, but I have had great lose in my short life so far, I am just afraid it is to prepare me for something far worst.  After all they/I always say, everything happens for a reason.

Anyways that is all I have to say for now, but at least it give you all, well at least the few of you that read this, something to reflect on and think about.  Good luck in your daily life and God bless.

Later

Later

Later

Side note, pray, keep your fingers crossed or whatever you do, that I get a job soon where I can get some experience in the field I want to go into.  I don’t care is I am the errand girl for an event planner and I do the setting up and tearing down and running around.  I think it is funny, everyone wants you to have experience but very few people are willing to give it to you.  And those that are pretty much expect you to do it for free.  For example, I am not complaining by the way, I have a wonderful chance to help with a major Fourth of July party this year as an intern given my summer class schedule allows it.

For those of you that don’t already know, the next year and a half are going to be crazy busy, but I have a good feeling I will love it.  This coming semester I am taking 15 credit hours, over the summer I am taking three more class, and to be honest I am looking forward to them.  For the first time I am not freaking out and telling myself I can’t do this.  I figure at this point if I can do Microbiology and ANP 102 at the same time, I can manage these classes.  I know there will be reading and work, but at least my heart will be in it.  I also know I will not be making as much money as the nurses coming out of school now, but at least I will not burn out as quite and I will be doing something I love.  I have always been an artist person, now I have a release for that and I will get paid to do it.  I think this is where God has been telling me I am suppose to be.  Now I just need to clean out my ears a little more so I can hear everything else he is telling me.  His plan is ways best and in the long run makes up happiest even if we do not see it at first.  That is something Kara taught me.

On the note of Kara, I was talking to one of my childhood friends and it turns out she knew about Kara already.  In some strange way she had a connection through friends to her husband.  It is amazing how many lives have been touched by her.  I am sad that she is gone, but I know I will see her again and till then I can learn about all the different lives she has touch, either directly or indirectly.  I know it may sound childish, but I like to think that she is able to look down on us, when we are thinking of her or at our happiest and that she just smiles.  I also like to think she can talk to our guardian angles and talk them into adding a little sparkle of her into our days to brighten them up when we are down, seeing how she can no longer pick up the phone and call.  That would be on long distance phone bill.  I know she is still with me at time; it is like I can almost feel her.  It is like I can feel the warmth she would give off when ever we hung out.  It is comforting.

Ok, so I should really get back to work.  I didn’t plan on this being as long as it turned out to be. By the way, thank you for reading.  In know lately I have spoken a lot about Kara, but this is just my way of dealing or maybe it is her way of touching more lives, only God and maybe Kara know.

Later

Later

Well it is that time of year again and I don’t know about you but I am a little disappointed in some peoples out looks toward this time of year.  It is a time to be thankful, grateful and to give with a gracious heart.  It is not the time of year to be selfish, cold and (well you can fill in whatever you feel fits there.) I am so tired of being out and about and seeing people in such a hurry to get their shopping done that they put no thought into the gift they are going to give another.  I am tired of seeing people so wrapped up in their own lives that they end up hurting those around them.  I am tired of those cranky women who cut you off in traffic just so they can get to the store before you just in case there is only one left of something they don’t really need, but it is on sale and the last one so they are going to get it anyways.  I am so tired of it all.  This time of year is about being grateful for what God has given us and has allowed to come to pass.  It is a time of brotherly love and sisterly love, but not in the gay sort of way, but I am not saying I have a problem with that, I am just saying love one another.

(Total side note, Mike has had chili, Rally’s and now he wants Mexican food for dinner.  I asked if he is trying to commit intestinal suicide.)

(Back to the topic) I can’t understand why some people think of this time of year as give me, give me, give me. It should be, what can I do for you. Anyways, I lost my train of though on the subject because I am at work answering the phone and talking to other people.  I know, I should be focusing on work, but I have all my work done and it is dead.  Anyways…yeah…so…how are you.

I love old movies.  I know that is a totally odd and different subject, but I do love old movies.  The good old romantic ones that just make you wish you were that person or makes you feel as though you were born in the wrong time period.  I also love some of the newer movies too, especially the romantic ones like Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility.  The only problem is, lack of people to watch them with, o’well.

So I am going to go now, I will try to post again soon, and maybe next time the whole thing will either be on one subject or at least related subjects.  By the way, what do you think of the theme?

Later

Ok, I don’t know about you but I have been so tired lately. It is like I just can’t get enough sleep, even on weekends when I manage to get like 12 hours of sleep. Someone said it was probably caused by a struggle within my subconscious. It tries to resolve itself in my sleep but is unable to do so; instead it is just disrupting my sleep. I know it can’t be stress. So either I have a sleep disorder, I have a subconscious conflict, or I just need a softer mattress.

I don’t know how many of you out there know that I have a mood disorder, I know I don’t try to hide it, but I am not sure how many of you know about it. Anyways, I am on medication that is working great. I finally feel normal. I am happy most of the time, I don’t have major mood swings, and I am no longer doing things I once would do. I almost feel normal and I love it. But lately, I have started to wonder how many other people would benefit from going and finding out if they have a mood disorder. They say sometime it takes one to know one, and to be honest, I think there are a few people around me that either suffers from a similar mood disorder or even the very same mood. I have started to notice that certain people act just the way I do with out my meds, which leads me to wonder if they have a mood disorder and if they would be leading a much happier life. I know that there are those out there that feel that you should not rely on medications to live your life, but sometime there are those out there that need those medication to make life bearable and livable, to help them be more of what they should be so those around them can better interact with them.

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